Saturday, August 15, 2009

"It is better to have loved and lost...

...than be stuck for life with a freaking psycho."
Now THAT's in the running for the greatest bumper snicker of all time!
I'm happily asexual: Don't want none, ain't having none, it's waaaaaay out of my price range. If I go to a bar, it's usually to watch the game, because being a cheap bastard frugal consumer, I don't have ESPN. I've proudly thrown away more sale-mail about singles retreats, groups and websites than any WASP man in the country, and I know there's probably the perfect/right/other-half-of-my-soul woman out there for me, but she's just not worth rummaging through the box full of bitches that will bite your head off for nothing, steal the fillings out of your teeth with a divorce or blow up in your face to find. "The wild side", beyond the sheer abuse and dysfunction, is made equally repugnant by, like politics and bureaucracy, infestation by amoral, dishonest Papists who feel confessing their habit to a fellow pederast daily and performing shtick ritual will buy off the Almighty and pay their fire insurance. With the degree-mills cranking out fresh bumper crops of American she-males with sheep-skins in Green Chinese Pottery that can't balance a checkbook and want a stupid male appendage to blame for it, I'm going to be a regular patron at Madam Rosy Palm's House of Ill Repute for quite possibly a lifetime. Some of you may be cringing at this point and others muttering "too much information", but there's a lesson I've learned postulated by Shakespeare long ago: "To thine own self be true; and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man"...
Got enough illogic of my own to deal with, thank you very much!

2 comments:

YELLOWDOG GRANNY said...

i always thought the soul mate was a great idea..but at nearly 66 I haven't found mine yet..and dont think I will...

Ted Amadeus said...

It's a shitty pipe dream like most of the rest of the "romantic" propaganda that confuses and obfuscates the simple fact: As the Bloodhound Gang sings, "put the you-know-what...in the you-know-where." You did a lot better than me.
LP likes to talk about all that stuff, but them that talks the most generally do it 'cause they getz the least!