Thursday, September 24, 2009

EXTRA: Hope Springs Eternal...

...Especially false hope.
Economic downturns breed scam-artists like rotting corpses do maggots. So when your resume submitted for an electroinseflographic technologist position at Monster.com or your ad in the electronic newspaper generates 20 responses of the "make half a million a year selling computers over the internet" variety, you now know why. Just a few earmarks of a bogus employment/career offer.
1. It sounds too good to be true because it is. "Commissions of $50K/mo. not uncommon!!!" Really, what the fuck are you selling, crack? Is it available to actually meet and talk to anyone who lived up to the outlandish claim?
2. Thin on detail. When the ad or email doesn't specifically say how you're going to be making that phat jack, you can bet it's a sales job, or more likely an MLM scam...Selling doors door-to-door, telephones over the phone or the ever-unpopular outrageously-overpriced vacuum cleaner (nobody's going to drop a grand on a piece of shit they can buy at Wal-Mart for $50, unless they recently had brain-removal surgery).
3. Paying for work instead of getting paid to work. There's almost always a starter-kit, "Customer Service University course", bi-monthly marketing seminar in Bunfuct, Alaska or other gimmick to get money out of you. A general rule-of-thumb is, if you have to spend money to work for someone else, it's a freaking rip-off, not a job.
If you're one of the two people out of a thousand with such a golden tongue and line of bullshit so thick you could sell air conditioners to Eskimos, give it a shot...WTF do you have to lose? For the rest of us, it's a bigger waste of time, money and effort than religion. Been there, done that, hated it. All sales involves lying at some point or other, and making a career of it has disastrous personal consequences (See your Senator or congressman for details) because deceit has a tendency of working on the deceiver as well as the deceived.
You're better off flipping burgers for Mickey-D's!

2 comments:

YELLOWDOG GRANNY said...

the ceo's got all the good jobs flipping burgers.

Ted Amadeus said...

And the average Joe has about as much a chance of getting into that Lucky Sperm Club as you or I have of being elected President!