Sunday, September 6, 2009

Won't Mind Their Own Business *UPDATED*



"Religion is for people who are too lazy to believe the Bible."
- Will Rogers

Saw these signs all over the place a couple months before the election, and they're still plenty around.
It reads "PRAY & FAST to end abortion." That's right, the holier-than-thous of the unregenerate, allegedly-"moral" majority are on the warpath again...The fine folk that like to bitch about everything you do, then wonder why you won't go to their stained-glass whorehouse on the street corner. For the benefit of old-money, filthy-rich"upper middle class" bead-fingering, idol-worshiping hypocrites everywhere, here's some homework help with those glaring math issues:
1. Most of U.S. have not been, and continue to be unimpressed or "inspired" by Pat Robertson, "the new, improved" Jim Bakker (now with lanolin and emulsifiers to keep your brain soft and wrinkle-free) or Pope Benny as we were with Jerry Falwell, Jimmy Swaggart or Jim Bakker (original) when he got caught with his hand in the till before. Since these seem to be your heroes of choice, you might want to consider what kind of message that sends.
2. Denominational religion in general - and Vaticanism in particular - bares about as much resemblance to the church described in the Book of Acts and following as a bald eagle does a coral reef. Ditto your Canon Law and Dogma when anybody who can read lays the Bible upside it...Could you get some engineers to work on this centuries-old problem? It gives the "un-churched" the unnerving impression you don't know what the fuck you're talking about, for some strange reason...to put it mildly!
3. If your priests would kindly quit corn-holing little boys and knocking eachothers' boots off, their street-cred when blasting homosexuality might tick northward a bit. Ditto TV preachers that can't keep their pants on drecking "sanctity of marriage/abstinence now/sin of adultery!!!". Since you claim so half-heartedly to believe in marriage and decry promiscuity, maybe you could demonstrate by letting these horny old birds with backward collars get married...Hopefully to the nuns or church ladies their knocking on the side anyway, instead of eachother, since they also claim to believe that's sin.
4. To the heart of the matter: If you don't want an abortion, you don't have to get one! Nobody will lift a finger to force you. Notice I'm not sitting here on my blinding-white pro-choice high horse with a Winchester pointed at your dome, threatening to perforate it if you don't run out and insist on a late-termer. You have no right to make that call for somebody else! Period. End of story. That's why the politicians are not taking you seriously, either (One of the FEW smart things they do).
5. Perhaps - just perhaps - if you teach your brats about contraception and stop making them get abortions to cover up teenage pregnancies because of what "the Joneses" might think, you would not only increase your credibility to unprecedented levels, doing so as a group might well bring a precipitous drop in demand that could ruin the abortion "market" altogether.
Just a few thoughts since you seem to have so much trouble thinking for yourselves, but want to control everyone else's minds and lives "for their own good" anyway. Galt-in-Da-Box is your friend, and seriously wants to see you live that life more than abundant Jesus Christ came to make available. Along that line, my good friend JackieSue Denney dared pose the question "Why doesn't that sign read 'Fast, Pray and Adopt'?" and my working theory for answer is it would require walking the talk instead of just talking the walk: Since church is largely nothing but a social club for those who want to look and feel good instead of be right, it would be a train-wreck. I'm not atheist but I don't wonder there are so many of them about when I see how religious birds operate. At least the freaking atheists are trying to use their brains.
I'm sort of forced to conclude that religion explains God about as well as evolution explains creation!

UPDATE/And Another Thing:
6. Why is it that I have never met a lady that was anti-choice?
It's ALWAYS a dude, ranting about murder and immorality (though he usually has no qualms about living off others thoughtlessly through a welfare/social(istic in)security/SSI/gov't workfare check. Maybe George Carlin was spot-on: "Ya ever notice that most abortion protesters are people you'd never wanna fuck in the first place?"
That's gotta be the best pro-choice one-liner ever!!!

4 comments:

YELLOWDOG GRANNY said...

hey maybe if we're lucky they'll fast to death...? sigh*

Ted Amadeus said...

Given the lengthy track record of telling others what to do and not doing it themselves, I'm not holding my breath!

The Conservative UAW Guy said...

Without seeming "holier than thou", some of us think an abortion is the same as killing a Jew in a camp or murdering a conservative in the streets for his views. But worse.

And if you kill someone that is not an imminent threat, you are violating his/her Constitutional/civil rights.
I would want to defend anyone being killed for no, evil or selfish reasons.

And the the overwhelming majority of people I know that adopt are indeed Christians. I think perhaps your vitriol is somewhat misplaced.

Just sayin'...

Respectfully,

jimmyb

Ted Amadeus said...

First of all jimmyb, many thanks for not going off on a tizzy about this one.
Being a libertarian, I believe EVERYONE is entitled to believe whatever they wish, as long as they don't try to impose it on everyone else...a concept that seems to be lost most the time with the other guys.
I'm also quite fed up with "Funny-mental-ism" which always seems to be the driving force beating the dead horse of abortion prohibition.
Live and let live doesn't show up on these folks' radar at all, and their only justification for most of their hate is that they FEEL that it's murder/wrong.
If we're gonna go there, I feeeeeel the world would be a better place if Hitler, Stalin, Marx, Lenin &/ Mao had been aborted, because millions of lives would have been saved.
Unfortunately, that didn't happen, and we're stuck with the consequences.
Most of the case for the "pro-life" crowd rests on pseudo-"Christian" doctrine commonly known as immortality of the soul. The doctrine predates Christianity by thousands of years, and was never a part of pre-Christian Judaism, but nonetheless the more fanatical religious parts of the movement claim an "unborn child" that hasn't been sprinkled by their priests goes to hell (I've heard this tommy-rot personally, in my early Believer days). I couldn't find Scripture that bolstered the position then, and it still eludes me.
Genesis 2:7 however, sticks out like a sore thumb...and far enough to trip up the whole soul-immortality heresy, if it's taken as read.
I could cite cases of those who don't deserve to be, and should never attempt parenting, but organizations like SCAN, and TV programs like Jerry Springer make my case for me.
Thanks again for your comment!