Saturday, December 5, 2009

Twenty Point Inspection


What does Katsumi mean in English..."hot"?

Galt-in-Da-Box dearly LOOOOOOVES to Windows-shop the girl mall since asexuality does not omit dating for companionship, and in that ongoing process has gleaned some useful facts.
Unfortunately, it's not til most guys hit 30, or sometimes even 40 they realize diving naked and screaming onto the first femme that says "yes" is probably not the smartest idea. Won't detail why those online dating sites are a huge waste of time, but you'll prolly figger it out when you meet at a club or cafe for the first, and "she" is a he or weighs 300 pounds...or if you're really unlucky, both! Gleaned from experience and several sites that confirm it, here are some "Red Flags". These are deal-breakers in combinations of three or more; early warning signs that tell you this is not long-term relationship material, and even questionable for a one-night-stand:

0. Married! This, gentlemen, is a personal fowl that WILL cost you a hell of a lot more than 15 yards/half the distance to the goal and loss of down. Don't even think about it, unless you are suicidal, or enjoy spending copious amounts of money you don't have on lawyers, fiduciary judgments and bail...to say nothing of "high-caliber lead poisoning" potential! If you even half-think dating/fucking a married woman is a good idea, you're a dumbass!
1. Three dates, rubbers on, $50 standard. This is the "interview" period, during which you ask questions, get answers, and most importantly, find out what her interests are. NEVER spend more than $50 a date. If you're stupid enough to go "poking around" without a spooge luge, you deserve a dose that'll rot your wanker right off!
2. "Abused by my former lover." Code Red: You are competing with a bad memory to which you will ALWAYS be compared. Bail out after the first date, and make sure you "have to work" or are always "busy".
3. Smokes. Should be self-explanatory, unless you suck coffin nails too. Stick to one-niters, because you're clearly not planning to be around in the long run.
4. Extreme tatoos/excessive piercings. Tramp-stamps and other forms of self-defacement and mutilation are a big red flag.
5. "Emotionally abused". FeminSTAAZIism that literally translated, means FLAKE. Excuse yourself graciously...graceLESSly if needed.
6. Preoccupation with your financial status. "How much money do you make?" 'Nuff said. If all she can talk about is your bottom line, you'd better be looking for another bottom. A serious Code Red if she starts probing early in the first date.
7. "Doesn't believe in"/use contraception. This tells you she's angling for a ball-and-chain baby with which to get fangs into you for life, especially if she's ready to put out early in the first date.
8. Doper or drunkard (See #3).
9. "Homeless" or in serious debt (See #6).
10. Multiple children by more than one father (Failed attempts to put a #7 over on them). Sluts need not apply.
11. Lives with parents/divorced mom or dad well after 21. Can you say "immature" (Ladies, it's a two-way street)? This counts double if the arrangement's in a trailer court/gov't housing!
12. Lots of gaudy, flashy but cheap adornments. There's a distinct difference between beautiful and hooker.
13. Name-dropper.
14. Careless flirt - Comes on to you hot and heavy &/ makes passes without finding out first whether or not you're married.
15. No specific goals, dreams, plans or aspirations...This is because they can be all summed up as "Living off of you thoughtlessly for the rest of my life." Leave It To Beaver was a freaking TV show, dudes...Doesn't happen in the real world unless your last name is Kennedy, Rockfeller or Onassis!
16. FSFM. The "feel sorry for me" tactic will generally take two forms. The "emotionally abused" ones will play the "everybody's out to get me" card, and if it goes beyond three dates, you'll be part of "everybody" if you don't jump through her hoops. The gold-diggers will start talking about how "naive" she has been and "misled" by nasty folks to whom she owes money...As the chivalrous gentleman, you're expected to whip out your wallet or checkbook - and nothing else!
17. "High maintenance": Orders the most expensive meal and beverage on the menu, then leaves half of it lay.
18. Real or Not Real: The wrong kind of woman from the other end of the financial spectrum will not care about your age or appearance, especially if you are recently widowed or divorced (most vulnerable), but will be very skillful in the "allure"/seduction category. If you have serious doubts as to her genuineness, tell her you're "between jobs", "a full-time student"; anything that will give the impression you're something other than financially secure or independent. If she's looking for a real love interest or even a one-niter, this won't matter. The gold-digger will bolt!
19. Doesn't want you to meet her relatives.
20. Glamor whore. Always has to be with her friends (entourage), and the center of attention. More immaturity.

If all these hurdles are cleared (your choice on which two you're willing to bend) and you're both serious, go steady a while longer, or on vacation together.
Strive to spend as much time together as possible. In more political terms, get to know the party thoroughly before you join it. Chances are excellent you are being spoon-fed honey now, but will be eating shit after you sign a marriage license, so the more time you spend together the greater likelihood the mask will slip/part-time bleed through.
Control your emotions and avoid infatuation: The biggest part of a woman's advantage is that men hardly ever play "hard to get".
This is not a game or a TV show, and if you make a mistake you'll be paying for it the rest of your life.

On that cheery note, good luck!

2 comments:

YELLOWDOG GRANNY said...

why is it ok..for fat balding 40something old farts insist on their women to not be fat..double standards

Ted Amadeus said...

Realistically speaking, I think once one hits 40 - especially if one is an American - fat is unavoidable, and it just means there's more of her to love.
There is, however, a difference between "fat" and grotesquely obese!
The latter, combined with bobbed hair, smoking cigarettes and constant bitching about how "all men are jerks" will get somebody rejected at a nudist colony for chronic nymphomaniacs!!!