Saturday, July 17, 2010

Twenty-Five Reasons...

...why beer should be served (or at least, available - Hell, I'll pay for mine!) at work:
1. It's an incentive to show up.
2. It reduces stress.
3. It leads to more honest communications.
4. It reduces complaints about low pay.
5. It cuts down on time off (You can work with a hangover).
6. Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants to hear.
7. It helps save on heating costs in the winter.
8. It encourages carpooling.
9. Increases job satisfaction because if you have a bad job, you don't care.
10. It eliminates vacations (Because people would rather come to work).
11. It makes fellow employees look better.
12. It makes the cafeteria food taste better.
13. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted.
14. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.
15. Burping during a meeting is less embarrassing.
16. Employees will work later since there's no longer a need to relax at the bar.
17. It makes everyone more open with their ideas.
18. Everyone agrees the work is better after they've had a couple of drinks.
19. Eliminates the need for employees to get drunk on their lunch break.
20. Increases the chance of seeing someone naked.
21. It eliminates the water cooler (Thus reducing gossip and rumor).
22. The janitor's closet will finally have a use.
23. Employees no longer need coffee to sober up.
24. Sitting on the copy machine will no longer be seen as "gross."
25. Babbling and mumbling incoherently will be common language.
Posted in honor of the stupid-ass law recently enacted here in the Peoples' Republic of Indiana that says you have to produce ID to buy alcohol...I'm tempted to go on another rant, so will just stop now!


texlahoma said...

I'm all for it!

Ted Amadeus said...

Thanks tex - well, atleast my last few "rock checks" haven't scared everyone off.


works for me

Anonymous said...

I often wish I could drink a beer or two on the job. It sure would make my job much more tolerable. Maybe even some wine.

Ted Amadeus said...

Galt-in-Da-Box is all about da grape, but the malt liquor & smoked almonds last night were a fitting tribute to the end of On-Call Weekend.