Personally, Galt-in-Da-Box took himself off the block years ago and advises all and sundry to not marry, especially if you've already been divorced, but that's my life. Moving on to yours, here's a few ways to realize you're in trouble and the best I can give in how to get out of it:
It will not take long after marriage for the signs that you've been roped into pussy-whipism, debt-slavery, naggism &/ "public shame theatre" to manifest themselves. All the above or worse will float to the surface of the average toilet-water American vow-coupling in the first six months to two years. This is why you NEVER have sex before marriage without wearing a condom and don't even think about having kids until well beyond those first two years. You are waiting to find out if she's still the girl you courted, and making sure any changes are for the better, and directed by you. If not, you'll know:
*A lot of "now that we're married..." proceeding some denouncement of something you both enjoyed on dates, or advocacy of some extreme indebtedness generating/socialist political idea.
*"You know, I never really liked that." becomes her new mantra for things she PRETENDED to like when you were dating. HUGE red flag!
*Mother and friends always visiting. Three or more times a week indicates immaturity and little sense of herself as part of a new family. Sometimes this can be corrected by doing the things together that gave you a sense of romance before your wedding. If she has already denounced these things and can't be without her entourage, it's much worse.
*Your "strong, independent woman" quits her job and takes up a new, full-time career on the couch in front of the TV, filling her face and watching Ellen, Rosie &/ some other "Orca Windbreeze" emo airbagette.
*Bawling/bitching. Rears it's head if you question or add something to her suggestions. Bitching will be accompanied by nagging if you don't give in to her slightest request. These will become demands in time.
*The next step down will be berating your choices or actions, no matter how small, before her mother, friends &/ in public.
These are the beginnings of manipulation and control. Today, most of the arrogant, college-brainfilthied, twenty-something set do not even wait for nuptules to start softening up the beachheads or seeing what they can coerce from you. Let's assume you went in without a Prenup...Situation difficult, but not impossible: you may come out of this completely unscathed if you can get her to agree to an uncontested divorce. If not, and you can make arrangements to live and work elsewhere in advance, if you are renting the home you both occupy and were wise enough to keep everything in your name, there's no reason why you can't just call for the utilities to be shut off, "slip out the back, Jack" and get a fresh start.
Now for the bad news: If you've already had kids with her (more common, less tenable) there is no easy way out of it, and you're likely to end up paying dearly for any type of divorce, especially if you live/were married in "ass-rape the WASP/stick it to Da Man" states like New York, California, Michigan and Florida. Unless you have an excellent lawyer and an airtight case, your kids are going to suffer the most, no matter what. Your only option is to attempt to "make it work" as best you can til the kids are raised and on their own, and see if there is a mutually beneficial arrangement you can reach until then. This will require knowing her habits, being a step ahead, playing it cool and developing a VERY thick skin (IOW, it's a hell of a lot easier said than done, especially if she's already contemplating divorce - which is how it ends three out of four).
Sorry pal, but you "thought with the wrong head" and got fucked in more ways than one!
The primary thing an American man must, Must, MUST understand about marrying an American woman is, while you are out to get laid, she is out to get PAID, and you will get played three times out of four.
*All nookie stops within six months or right after the honeymoon: This is because, with a binding legal document in hand, all need for further political bribery has ended - THAT was for when she was campaigning, and you voted at the altar! Even worse if after you've had a kid together (will be accompanied by the "I have a headache" excuse) When you file for divorce, tell her that a "headache" that lasts a fucking year and a half is a sign of deeper issues, and she needs to see a doctor - quite possibly a psychiatrist: Men don't marry so they can keep "going steady with Rosy Palms"!