Monday, January 9, 2012

Bullshit Issue Politics

It's everywhere, in evermore discouraging piles!
If you're of the Establishment "right" and you need a primary surge, all the fuck you have to do is trot out some lame-ass nag like flag-burning, DOMA or the primere, hot-button bullshit issue of every good GeOPapist, abortion: Mount the whistle-stop platform & rouse the rubes with a tear-jerker about millions of "unborn, murdered children a'goin ta HEYELL on account o' theyam dayamn Planned Parenthood heathen" and the hilljack vote is a virtual lock. Beat the war-drum and sing a few stanzas of "Bomb Iran"...You'll have those Papist Johnny-Rebs and old farts mailing tea bags in no time. It's the kind of fodder self-righteous fakes and other funny-mental-ist asshats just eat up, and a can't miss strategy.
Say your platform lists a bit to port: All you gotta do is play to your audience with hyperbole and ad hominem about gay marriage, global warming, or a myriad other things government can't and will never change, and the dope & perversion-crazed groupies will be running after you like a rock star!
A master politician will avoid like the plague any issue of genuine substance: Steer clear with all your might of how the country is tens of trillions in debt going on hundreds due to your bead-fingering, idol-worshipping/bagel-munching altruism. Remember that you "don't know anything about" wasteful War-On-Concepts that actually achieve nothing but sinecure for your relatives, friends and cronies. Finally, avoid substance-heavy issues like excessive taxation, civil liberties erosion, violations of Constitutional law, the burgeoning military-industrial complex, endless cannon-fodder police-actions, the national debt and anything else that might incur the disfavor of your owners.
The key thing is never rocking the political career boat when your ship is coming in!


texlahoma said...

Sounds like a playbook for all the political campaigns but one.

BBC said...

Nothing is going to improve, follow your own path to the end the best your can.

Galt-in-Da-Box said...

The only thing more disgusting than the moronic campaigns is the camp-followers: The "0bam-ney" ladies beating the hate-Iran war drums are bouncing off the FaceBook walls. I once heard politics described as "a popularity contest for ugly people"...That's damn straight!

billy pilgrim said...

it takes a lot of self control to not call the obama worshippers on facebook fucking idiots.

if there was ever a false idol, it's him.

BBC said...

if there was ever a false idol, it's him.

They are all false.