Saturday, January 7, 2012

Clearing The Air

Bless me father for I've sinned; Galt-in-Da-Box has a confession to make:
Part one: I am a shameless, serial, corporate whore. Sorry Occupy fans - I know this is quits with us, but I also could not keep living a lie: I love McDonald's, Burger King, Sears, Target, Microsoft, Apple...and my ultimate depravity, Wal-Mart. Long Sunday afternoons have we spent in bed, as I trolled the aisles...Worse yet, I am a cheap whore: I've sold out for their bargain-basement deals time and again, because - well...oh let's face it, there is no excuse. I'm addicted! I'm a "poor, oppressed victim" of "our decadent, capitalist, imperialist, Yankee dog" society.
Part Two: I am "anti-Zemitick!!!" I know this, because I've been falsely accused of it multiple times, as I don't believe in giving international Bankstaz everything they want on a silver platter, at the expense of our great great grandchildren. Also, I'm quite sure from observation and common sense that real Hebrews are olive-complected, of the bloodline of Abraham, and originated in Canaan - not Khazakhstan!
While these sins may cancel eachother out like a foul by each team at an NFL game because the former are owned by the latter, in our "enLIEtened" age of feeling sorry for yourself/telling all so it makes you feel better, I now feeeeeel pure as the wind-driven snow, and isn't that the most important thing, after all?

3 comments:

BBC said...

Football is a nice distraction, that I don't follow.

BBC said...

I don't mind that you are a whore, I just wish you were female and affordable and fun. :-)

Galt-in-Da-Box said...

*LMAO @ BBC*
Can't please everyone.